isn't it GREAAAAATTTT it looks like katy perry
Saturday, July 31, 2010
whacky inflatable arm man
it's really true what they say about how the things you hate about other people are subconsciously what you hate most about yourself.
i'm too depressed to write anymore and i can't be funny when i'm depressed unless it's something so twisted that stephen king would look like a tiny little baby bear cub. i wish i could have fucking thought of someone better than stephen king.
speaking of bear cubs, i saw the cutest pomeranian today at the at&t store (bought an iPhone4. won't receive it in the mail for a week. at&t suck it) named Halle Bear-y and she looked like an actual baby bear w her special haircut
i take in the deepest information and derive the most value from 1 and 2-star (* and **) movies. either i pick the really underrated ones, or i am fucking warped
i can't write anymore..i'm too boring and embarrassing
(final note: i HATE people who bash on self-deprecation, it is totally funny and a great way of being honest about your flaws. don't lecture me about how i'm making myself more depressed by putting myself down....i'm relieving myself better than your last whack off session)
i'm too depressed to write anymore and i can't be funny when i'm depressed unless it's something so twisted that stephen king would look like a tiny little baby bear cub. i wish i could have fucking thought of someone better than stephen king.
speaking of bear cubs, i saw the cutest pomeranian today at the at&t store (bought an iPhone4. won't receive it in the mail for a week. at&t suck it) named Halle Bear-y and she looked like an actual baby bear w her special haircut
i take in the deepest information and derive the most value from 1 and 2-star (* and **) movies. either i pick the really underrated ones, or i am fucking warped
i can't write anymore..i'm too boring and embarrassing
(final note: i HATE people who bash on self-deprecation, it is totally funny and a great way of being honest about your flaws. don't lecture me about how i'm making myself more depressed by putting myself down....i'm relieving myself better than your last whack off session)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
something awful happened to me.
yes something traumatic happened. it's called THIS PICTURE:
did you know that that's Tara Reid? i'm not talking about the body issues cause that's nothing new, i'm looking at that FACE...... she looks like a convicted murderer meth-head. not that anyone cares about her these days, not that it's surprising that she ended up doing this to herself,.....but come on, she and many others/hollywood did THIS to herself and that's more than fucked up it's just sad. yeah boo hoo wahh wahhh wahhhhh call the Wahhhhhmmmbulence whatever such a white girl problem (boo hoo look at what HOLLYWOOD did to me i'm so fucking unfortunate woe is me) but still i am sad that people who are surrounded by people and watched all the time end up like this.
some people will enable you to death.
did you know that that's Tara Reid? i'm not talking about the body issues cause that's nothing new, i'm looking at that FACE...... she looks like a convicted murderer meth-head. not that anyone cares about her these days, not that it's surprising that she ended up doing this to herself,.....but come on, she and many others/hollywood did THIS to herself and that's more than fucked up it's just sad. yeah boo hoo wahh wahhh wahhhhh call the Wahhhhhmmmbulence whatever such a white girl problem (boo hoo look at what HOLLYWOOD did to me i'm so fucking unfortunate woe is me) but still i am sad that people who are surrounded by people and watched all the time end up like this.
some people will enable you to death.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
ready to talk about zoe
my best friend in the world since i was 5 years old, Zoe Liana Proser, was viciously assaulted one week ago last saturday night (july 17 2010). many of you have been seeking the full story, and after a week of keeping a low profile i am coming forward with the details.
so after a long night we were chillen at brandon's house and preparing to go home around 3 am. brandon and i were going to go in zoe's car back to her house, and danielle was leaving to go back to silverlake. brandon danielle and zo were outside on the sidewalk as i pulled some last minute shennanigans and goodbyes in the house. i heard their laughter outside and zoe say "lauren! i'm not waiting for you!" so i began to make a departure when i heard crazy yelling mixed into the banter outside.
as i opened the door to see what was going on, i saw a girl running towards my friends on the sidewalk and tried to recognize her, but could not. her arms were outstretched forward, her hands positioned like claws in front of her as she tore down the street in the direction of my friends. when i was unable to identify this person, i then assumed it was a crazy schizophrenic bum or something of the like. to my great shock and horror, she ended up charging right into zoe and tackling her to the ground. it all happened so fast and i was STILL assuming this had to be some sort of mistake.
worse yet, the girl began to attack zoe brutally on the ground, grabbing her by the head and slamming it into the pavement (not even the grass - the fucking pavement) repeatedly around 3 or 4 times. she pulled strands of zoe's hair straight out of her scalp and would not stop until brandon was able to break up the attack and remove the bitch.
at this point, the girl (who most probably was under the influence of a range of substances, combined with a series of natural mental illnesses i'm sure) was hysterical and claiming she thought zoe was someone else. the girl rambled on about having just gotten married the previous day, and thought zoe was someone she suspected was cheating with her new husband.
no part of that explanation excuses SHIT, and attacking ANYONE like that no matter what they have done has no justification. even worse when the recipient of a malicious attack is an innocent bystander.
as we followed the attacker to find out who the hell she was (and how we could get her behind bars) she was met by a woman claiming to be her grandmother. the grandmother protected her and guided her back to their apartment, which was only 3 doors down across the street from brandon. the grandmother was a remorseless nasty wench who told US to "fuck off" and defensively challenged our threats to call the police by yelling "ok CALL the cops, SEE what the fuck happens," and went back to hide herself and her granddaughter in their apartment.
when the cops arrived they had the paramedics come to make sure zoe was alright, and she was, fortunately, and did not suffer a concussion or anything else too serious. but the cops were not of much help in that they merely knocked on the door of the attacker and her grandmother, who were obviously inside the apartment but were hiding and ignoring the police. the cops informed us that they can't go inside if there is no warrant out or if no one voluntarily opens the door, which was infuriating. i think they could have at least slipped SOMETHING underneath the door, or surrounded the building until they came out since obviously they would have to come out eventually.
but they didn't. the cops collected our statements and i am a witness who saw it with my own eyes, (along with brandon and danielle) and i will absolutely testify in court once we are able to press charges.
the only information we have is:
- the address of where the attacker's grandmother lives (the attacker herself occasionally lives there, but comes and goes as she shadily pleases)
- the girl incoherently told me her name was something along the lines of Anastasia (which she pronounced "na-sta-cia" or something like that)
- anastasia and her grandmother are affiliated with the russian mafia and do shady things like change their names, pay their rent up front in cash every month, and the grandmother actually witnessed her own husband get bludgeoned to death by the mob many years ago (source: the building landlord)
and a few other vague things that you may ask me about if you wish.
i cannot stop thinking about the "what-if.......?" 's in this scenario, though i shouldn't because they will only drive a person crazy. but what if the girl had a weapon or a bottle on her? what if she attacked someone who was alone? all of these things are too terrible and horrifying to contemplate and the best i can do is be grateful that my best friend was not killed or seriously injured.
the world is a sick place. we are naturally trusting as humans. no one would or should expect a person they have never met before to come charging at them and attack them, especially unprovoked. but it happens. and it damages all of us. i feel like i aged 20 years right then and there and within the last week (2 weeks really, due to an experience i had the previous weekend). if anything, i have developed even more perspective on the world and what the fuck actually matters in life - and in re. many people my age, i just want to shake them and scream in their face that it's NOT about a fucking high school popularity contest. we may be young in the grand scheme, but we are at least old enough to stop wasting our energy harping on drama and hating on people.
so if you want to talk to me about why you hate me or my friends, why you don't want me to be invited somewhere, why i didn't go to this or that party, etc etc etc, just re-focus on the fact that you are lucky to be alive and you could be dead or in jail or without your lifelong best friend/family member. i could have been.
so after a long night we were chillen at brandon's house and preparing to go home around 3 am. brandon and i were going to go in zoe's car back to her house, and danielle was leaving to go back to silverlake. brandon danielle and zo were outside on the sidewalk as i pulled some last minute shennanigans and goodbyes in the house. i heard their laughter outside and zoe say "lauren! i'm not waiting for you!" so i began to make a departure when i heard crazy yelling mixed into the banter outside.
as i opened the door to see what was going on, i saw a girl running towards my friends on the sidewalk and tried to recognize her, but could not. her arms were outstretched forward, her hands positioned like claws in front of her as she tore down the street in the direction of my friends. when i was unable to identify this person, i then assumed it was a crazy schizophrenic bum or something of the like. to my great shock and horror, she ended up charging right into zoe and tackling her to the ground. it all happened so fast and i was STILL assuming this had to be some sort of mistake.
worse yet, the girl began to attack zoe brutally on the ground, grabbing her by the head and slamming it into the pavement (not even the grass - the fucking pavement) repeatedly around 3 or 4 times. she pulled strands of zoe's hair straight out of her scalp and would not stop until brandon was able to break up the attack and remove the bitch.
at this point, the girl (who most probably was under the influence of a range of substances, combined with a series of natural mental illnesses i'm sure) was hysterical and claiming she thought zoe was someone else. the girl rambled on about having just gotten married the previous day, and thought zoe was someone she suspected was cheating with her new husband.
no part of that explanation excuses SHIT, and attacking ANYONE like that no matter what they have done has no justification. even worse when the recipient of a malicious attack is an innocent bystander.
as we followed the attacker to find out who the hell she was (and how we could get her behind bars) she was met by a woman claiming to be her grandmother. the grandmother protected her and guided her back to their apartment, which was only 3 doors down across the street from brandon. the grandmother was a remorseless nasty wench who told US to "fuck off" and defensively challenged our threats to call the police by yelling "ok CALL the cops, SEE what the fuck happens," and went back to hide herself and her granddaughter in their apartment.
when the cops arrived they had the paramedics come to make sure zoe was alright, and she was, fortunately, and did not suffer a concussion or anything else too serious. but the cops were not of much help in that they merely knocked on the door of the attacker and her grandmother, who were obviously inside the apartment but were hiding and ignoring the police. the cops informed us that they can't go inside if there is no warrant out or if no one voluntarily opens the door, which was infuriating. i think they could have at least slipped SOMETHING underneath the door, or surrounded the building until they came out since obviously they would have to come out eventually.
but they didn't. the cops collected our statements and i am a witness who saw it with my own eyes, (along with brandon and danielle) and i will absolutely testify in court once we are able to press charges.
the only information we have is:
- the address of where the attacker's grandmother lives (the attacker herself occasionally lives there, but comes and goes as she shadily pleases)
- the girl incoherently told me her name was something along the lines of Anastasia (which she pronounced "na-sta-cia" or something like that)
- anastasia and her grandmother are affiliated with the russian mafia and do shady things like change their names, pay their rent up front in cash every month, and the grandmother actually witnessed her own husband get bludgeoned to death by the mob many years ago (source: the building landlord)
and a few other vague things that you may ask me about if you wish.
i cannot stop thinking about the "what-if.......?" 's in this scenario, though i shouldn't because they will only drive a person crazy. but what if the girl had a weapon or a bottle on her? what if she attacked someone who was alone? all of these things are too terrible and horrifying to contemplate and the best i can do is be grateful that my best friend was not killed or seriously injured.
the world is a sick place. we are naturally trusting as humans. no one would or should expect a person they have never met before to come charging at them and attack them, especially unprovoked. but it happens. and it damages all of us. i feel like i aged 20 years right then and there and within the last week (2 weeks really, due to an experience i had the previous weekend). if anything, i have developed even more perspective on the world and what the fuck actually matters in life - and in re. many people my age, i just want to shake them and scream in their face that it's NOT about a fucking high school popularity contest. we may be young in the grand scheme, but we are at least old enough to stop wasting our energy harping on drama and hating on people.
so if you want to talk to me about why you hate me or my friends, why you don't want me to be invited somewhere, why i didn't go to this or that party, etc etc etc, just re-focus on the fact that you are lucky to be alive and you could be dead or in jail or without your lifelong best friend/family member. i could have been.
Friday, July 23, 2010
COMING SOON
sarah and myself photogging and modeling after a hectic day at the car wash w peach rings and kit kat and m&m's! risotto to follow
wish i could be recession-proof'd
signs that you are poor like me:
1. you feel good about yourself when you can afford things in quarters/dimes/....nickels even.....yeah i said it i meant it
2. you can't afford DEODORANT on your own
3. $20 = really rich
4. you would rather get something for free than have sex
5. ... and when you wake up in the morning and see something you got for free, it is the best, most validating feeling in the world to know you didn't pay for it.
1. you feel good about yourself when you can afford things in quarters/dimes/....nickels even.....yeah i said it i meant it
2. you can't afford DEODORANT on your own
3. $20 = really rich
4. you would rather get something for free than have sex
5. ... and when you wake up in the morning and see something you got for free, it is the best, most validating feeling in the world to know you didn't pay for it.
i am always my most honest when i first wake up
i would probably admit to murder if i first woke up and you asked me enough.
i was just stalking some one who people think is cool but i honestly think it is all bc of this person's money......this person is very overweight and not typically attractive WHICH I AM NOT DISCRIMINATING AGAINST but i am just surprised they have won the respect of certain individuals who so harshly judge everyone else. not that my frame of reference is especially credible or even respectable anymore, but somehow these people have affected me and gotten under my skin. it's embarrassing to admit that but people should know and i should be honest w myself
i was just stalking some one who people think is cool but i honestly think it is all bc of this person's money......this person is very overweight and not typically attractive WHICH I AM NOT DISCRIMINATING AGAINST but i am just surprised they have won the respect of certain individuals who so harshly judge everyone else. not that my frame of reference is especially credible or even respectable anymore, but somehow these people have affected me and gotten under my skin. it's embarrassing to admit that but people should know and i should be honest w myself
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
the weirdest lemon in the world contest
i found it. he was my son for a few days and i named him Conway. he's dead now but happily settled into freak lemon heaven
some one said they love me cause im crazy and strong
you know how i know i'm schizophrenic ? because last night a really sharp-looking clothes hanger was hanging on my bed post and i had so much anxiety about sleeping w it so near to me that i HAD to hide it deep in the closet. just in case some one broke in and found the hanger and stuck it in my eye. i hate sharp things and eyes.....or bugs and eyes....just anything and eyes. mascara is dangerous and i push my luck every time i use it but i just keep coming back for more
ENFP
i just took a quiz on monster.com about what career i should have based on my personality and i am now in the worst fucking mood EVERRRRRRRR
this is why i never want to enter the fucking career world and im so mad that no one ever supports me wanting to do what i REALLY WANT TO DO . instead i get this bullshit thrown at me
- Advertising account executive
- Career / outplacement counselor
- Management consultant
- Developer of educational software
- Journalist / magazine reporter
- Graphic designer
- Art director
- Copywriter
- Corporate team trainer
- Psychologist
- Inventor
- Human resources professional
NO!!!!!!!!
SUCK MY DICK!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU ASDFGHJKL:!@#$%^&*() im so angry right now this is BULLSHITTTT
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Friday, July 16, 2010
the return of karma
maybe i'm not a horrible person afterall cause the luckiness i have that i barely deserve is BACK! i lost my phone and wallet last week (debating if i am going share the entire story later on [but i really am pushing myself to]) and therefore everything in the wallet like my driver's license....
since the DMV is THE biggest bitch IN the world and everyone was telling me to go early in the morning.......i did the exact opposite and went around 3. i walked in, no appointment, no line, no wait, done signed and sealed in 5 minutes.
i'm not dead. i'm not in jail. i think im back on track
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
welcome toooooo.... the digital rat's neesssssttt
hello and welcome friends and enemies and stalkers. i am going to try to blog again under the following 5 principles:
1. ⚡ ĥ Ꭿ ℘ € ⓢ !!!!!
i love shapes / symbols w.e. bc i love themmm and bc im probably autistic (i usually see things in terms of pictures instead of words - this allegedly according to my friend michelle is one of the first signs of autism)
2. NON-CENSORSHIP
i hate censoring myself/anybody and i can be very offensive, stupid (usually for fun but sometimes for real), obnoxious, random and anything else in the name of shock value and, more importantly, the truth...i started being completely honest a few years back and it works for me (it could work for you too)
3. MY LIFE
my goal is to be really honest and hold back nothing because that's how i am when im comfortable enough. a lot of things in my life are in poor taste and embarrassing but i'm discussing them anyway bc this is basically my diary
4. ART AND FASHION AND PICTURRESSS!!!!
because of.... BECAUSE. do i need to have a reason for everything??
5. TRYING TO MAKE MONEY
because i wanna make money and i wanna sell all my material objects
if you only read my blog because you hate me and just want to see how embarrassing and stupid i act, that's totally fine w me bc i don't have to know! and even if i did i wouldn't care cause it's just my schtick. and self deprecating humor is my favorite cause i wanna be like larry
shen-qui .
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